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How Frequent Job Related Moves Affect The Families?

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Summary: Relocation is your responsibility as a job candidate. But the same time being a human you have some personal responsibilities too. You should consider all preceding information and advice in context of your family and support network. In today’s egalitarian model of marriage a unilateral decision are increasingly uncommon. Today even employers are responding to the dual career marriages.

Because, as well as being a job candidate, you are a human being with some personal responsibilities, you need to consider all of the preceding information and advice in the context of your family and support network. Few of us, even the single men and women pursuing careers in health care administration, have complete say about where we live and work. And as marriages have moved from the traditional to the egalitarian model, unilateral decisions about where a couple lives are increasingly uncommon. As I stated in the chapter on job offers, you really need to involve your partner as early as possible in your job search. If you have children, you can talk to them about your plans as the job search progresses, but your wife or husband deserves to know about your goals and plans in advance. Finally, you need to be sure that you have a system of support so that you are able to draw on the advice and expertise of others in your situation.

Traditional Families



Social scientists and psychologists have extensively researched how frequent job related moves affect the families of corporate executives and military personnel. Their findings are helpful; they prove that the effects depend on how the move is handled. You may well have firsthand experience of what results from relocation. Family members have to leave friends, change jobs and schools, and leave familiar and beloved communities. Although difficult to quantify, the consequences are at least disruptive if not painful.

What can the researchers suggest to help you minimize these disruptive effects of relocation? They suggest that you can anticipate the problems and work to solve them as a family. For instance, Patricia Voydanoff concludes that although frequent moves have negative effects, they can be avoided or minimized by family cohesion before the move, spousal attitude, and coping strategies. The more your family participates in the decision, the smoother things go. It may take some persuasion on your part, but you have to convince them that the move will benefit everyone in the long run.

If you read the management literature on decision making, this approach may remind you of the participatory management style. Well, it should. Just as employees in corporations cooperate more fully, as their sense of investment and involvement increases, so it is in families where family members cooperate when their contribution matters. Obviously, this model needs to be adjusted: Spouses generally share family decision making as full partners; teenagers hold less power but need to be included in the discussion, grade school children can express fears but typically adjust readily, and preschoolers vote with the majority, if they are even aware of any proposed relocation. Your decision to move can be made at the "executive level," but it ideally should address the concerns of all members of the family.

Recent research on hospital executives reveals that they differ slightly from business executives in general. Typically, spending time with their families is extremely important. If you value time with your family, consider everyone's happiness as you begin your job search. Although you may earn more money after the move, your family may need to get used to the new place, so you should listen to their concerns. The need for frequent moves can actually bring your family closer together as you rely more on one another, or it can drive you apart.

Two Career Families

A dual career marriage ups the ante in your job search. In 1986, both spouses were employed outside the home in one half of all American marriages, and the number increases daily. Job changes requiring relocation have even greater consequences for dual career families than for families where only one partner works outside of the home. When you accept a job in another city and your spouse has to quit a job, he or she may lose ground in terms of opportunity, seniority, salary, or pension. Meanwhile, the likelihood that you will both find excellent jobs in the same six month period is pretty slim. It may be necessary for you to have a commuter marriage for a short period of time while you begin your new job and your spouse conducts a separate job search while still working. However you look at it, the move will require flexibility and compromise.

Regardless of whether your spouse has an established career, he or she can help or hinder your job search. On the one hand, a strong and fulfilling marriage can be your Rock of Gibraltar in the face of uncertainty about your future. On the other hand, announcing plans to relocate and change jobs without consulting your spouse can cause resentment, and the last thing you need while looking for a job is a negative spouse. An angry spouse can be rude to prospective employers, and your spouse's negativity can be communicated to your children, so then you are really outnumbered. No one likes surprises, so tell your family about your intentions before the moving van arrives at the front door. Here in the South, we have an old saying, "If Mama's not happy, nobody's happy." It's folksy, yet true.

Have I made my point? Well, a little diplomacy and preparation goes a long way. If you are committed to moving for your career, you need to let your spouse know that long before it becomes an issue. Once you decide to pursue another job, be sensitive to the other person's feelings and needs. If you are close to accepting an offer, make a site visit with your spouse. Instead of focusing on your prospective job, spend the time researching the factors that contribute to your spouse's well being: for example, schools, types of neighborhoods, and proximity to other metropolitan areas. Possible references include the business directory, university guide, and the local chamber of commerce. It makes sense to find out as much as you can about the new community. Your enthusiasm will spread to the other person, and in turn, your children.

As the skilled labor shortage that experts predict for the 1990s appears, your job seeking spouse may get some help from your new employer. According to Lucia Gilbert, a psychologist who has researched two career families for the past 15 years, 75 large American corporations provide a new benefit relocation aid for the spouse. She qualifies this promising trend by noting that the assistance tends to be informal and limited for example, paying employment agency fees but it is something you can ask about during the serious negotiation stage. Even more promising for the two career couple is the new trend in higher education, which may or may not spill over into health care administration. In certain cases, highly sought after faculty members can make their recruitment contingent upon the hiring institution finding work for the spouse. Although the competitiveness of the health care employment field makes that kind of scenario unlikely, employers are responding to the concerns of the dual career marriage and the ever expanding effect of women in the workplace.

But what practical assistance can you offer your spouse to expedite finding a comparable position in the new location? Even in the somewhat conservative world of health care administration, you can network on your spouse's behalf. The board members are active in the professional and cultural life of your new community, and they are a logical source of contacts. By talking about your spouse's professional interests in this way, you demonstrate your commitment to his or her work.

Now let's say that you and your family have discussed the possibility of changing jobs, and all have agreed that it is time to make the move. In fact, because you have lobbied for this move, your spouse and children may actually be excited about the move and eager to make it happen. If your spouse can take your calls at home, you know you have a reliable person backing you up. Involve your children, too. Stress to them how important good phone manners and clear messages are. You are all working toward a common goal.
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