Karen Meyers doesn't want to hear about how your last boss only assigned you the cranky patients and made you work so hard that you fell asleep in the middle of "Ally McBeal" three weeks in a row.
She doesn't want to know that you have another appointment in an hour and would appreciate keeping things short so you can beat the lunchtime rush.
And she doesn't want to see you dressed to go to the beach, unless of course, you're inviting her to join you.
"I have had people show up in their beach clothes, which makes me want to go with them, but not hire them," she noted apologetically.
Meyers is a clinical recruiter for YAI/National Institute for People with Disabilities, a health and human services organization providing a wide range of services throughout New York City for people with disabilities. Her position has her interviewing hopefuls for jobs in the nonprofit's more than 200 community programs and preschools most of her day - an experience that has taught her a thing or two about job interviews, and how candidates should, and should not, conduct themselves.
If you want to land a job, chances are you're going to have to get the nod from the likes of a "Karen Meyers." To make things a little easier, the professional job interviewer shared these words of advice: Come prepared.
Match Yourself To The Job
Preparing for the job interview begins before you step foot in the office. Beforehand, try to learn as much about the employer as you can, and the position you're applying for.
Then, think about your own talents and abilities. How do you fit the bill for the position the employer is trying to fill?
Even if you're a new grad without much experience, or if you're crossing over to treat a patient population you've never worked with before, you can still convince the interviewer that you're right for the job. Just search your personal or volunteer life for examples that show you possess qualities that would make you a good match for the job.
Consider Meyers' example: "Not that long ago I was interviewing a woman without much experience. But as we talked, she described an experience at a summer camp where she and a friend had volunteered. She told me about a young woman she had met who was severely mentally retarded and who loved to paint.
"I asked this young woman, well, what were you able to teach her?
"And she looked at me and said, 'I taught her how to hold the brush a little better and some other things, but, in truth, she taught me more about life than I ever taught her.'"
What did this show the interviewer?
"It showed me that this woman had made the conscious decision to come into this field," said Meyers. "And when I saw that, I knew she would be a wonderful asset to our organization."
Show Your Self-Awareness
If you don't have a lot of real-world experience to bring to the table, but you're yearning for the job anyway, explain why. "Be honest about what you haven't done," urged Meyers. "There's nothing wrong with saying that you don't have experience working with a certain population, but that you've really been thinking about it, or reading about it, and find the area of work very interesting."
Being prepared to give an answer as to who you are and what you're after career-wise signals more to interviewers than a sharp suit and a power handshake ever do - namely, that you're mature and self-aware, said Meyers.
But even the most self-aware candidates need to dress right. For all positions, Meyers said the style to follow is - at the least - professional casual.
"It could be slacks and a jacket. And I've even found that if I know someone's coming from work, just wearing a blazer over khakis and a t-shirt creates a different impression than something more casual would," said Meyers. "It certainly isn't necessary to wear a navy blue suit."
Time Your Entrance
You've got the answers, you've got the clothes, you're feeling more self-aware than Dale Carnegie on a good day. Now, when to arrive? You may be surprised, but there is such a thing as arriving too early.
Meyers said it's best to arrive no more than 15 minutes before an interview. She once had an eager beaver arrive 90 minutes early. "He didn't want to be late," she remembered. "But that really was excessive. I felt pressured that whole hour."
Meyers also said it's best to leave your significant other at home - or at least try to control yourselves while waiting in the reception area. "I once had someone show up with her fiance, and they sat in the reception room...," Meyers paused, "...entwined."
Then, during the interview, "She kept looking at her watch and it was clear she didn't want to make him wait too long," Meyers remembered. "The whole thing was completely inappropriate, and it blew the interview."
Focus on the Positive
Questions about salary and past employers can also blow interviews if not handled correctly. About salary, Meyers said to honestly state the pay rate you're looking for, but to be willing to listen if an employer can't meet the salary but has a good benefits package to offer. Very often, what a salary lacks is made up in benefits like a pension plan or tuition reimbursement, she said.
Also, watch how you talk about former employers. Bad-mouthing past bosses will do nothing more than make an interviewer wonder just how you'll talk about their company if you ever decide to leave. Cite philosophical differences or some other neutral reason for leaving instead of sounding off on all your job-related complaints.
It may seem intimidating, but all in all the job interview is simply this: The interviewer presenting the job, and the interviewee explaining why he's qualified to fill it. When you look at it that way, it's really not that difficult.
"If a candidate interviews with a sense of openness and interest, that individual stands a very excellent chance of winding up working with us," said Meyers.
Jolynn Tumolo is on staff at ADVANCE and can be reached at jtumolo@merion.com.