10 Rules for Getting Along Well with Others

As the year moves toward its close, I am looking to the future and contemplating putting together everything I have learned about getting along with people in a book. In the meantime, I want to share with ADVANCE readers some of those thoughts as I think about this next venture.

I would greatly enjoy getting your input about what you think about these ideas and any other thoughts you have that might be of value from what you have learned in life. Thoughts on improving interpersonal relationships are pertinent to your professional well being as well as improved care for your patients. In the meantime, I would like to include some thoughts about what should be high on a list of priorities. 1. Treat people as you wish to be treated. Although we have heard this before, it still is a powerful concept. It is not always easy to commit to this principle, however. More importantly, by following this precept, you will find yourself operating in a small sphere of people who are genuine class acts. 2. Greet people like they are important. Say "hello" with gusto and ask "how are you doing?" with genuine intent. People know the difference, and the rewards for improved relationships will be enormous. 3. Understand that imperfections are part of the human package. If someone you deal with at home or at work is perfect, you probably are hallucinating. Understand that people will not always live up to your expectations; but by knowing that in advance, you can still strive to find some positive features anyway. This is truly the way to go. Following this precept builds a great skill called tolerance. 4. Let people know you care. I always like to think that people don't care what you know until they know that you care. And this is a principle that is especially true in health care. 5. Get back to people. If you say you are going to get back to someone or call them back, please do that. People build up great resentments if this simple rule is not followed. It comes under the general category of being true to your word. 6. Listen four times more than you talk. This precept has multiple benefits because it allows you to learn more. In the process, you will be able to think more clearly and you will let people around you know they truly count. In a related area, you can avoid making premature judgments and solve conflicts early if you listen more. Remember what my friend Harvey Gruskin said: "You cannot get hurt by what you didn't say." 7. Realize up front that some people, including your own children, may be good at discouraging you from encouraging them. Be aware of what "buttons" are being pushed in your day-to-day relationships. Many folks will use these buttons to help them determine your behavior. As a defense, stay strong and clear headed. 8. Laugh with people, not at them. Humor and levity can be a strong, positive force in building strong relationships. We can overcome some negative outcomes if we can learn to laugh. 9. Remember that what goes around comes around. That applies to all people in all spheres of life. 10. Finally, remember that very few people have all the answers. Think for yourself and share your wisdom, but do not insist people always follow your way. Put some trust in a belief that they will strive to do the right thing and figure some things out on their own. These are only 10 items of course. There are other important elements too. Are you willing to share yours? Steve Sobel is a motivational conference speaker and author. You can reach him at (800) 874-7189 or e-mail him at Info@DrSteveSobel.Com.