The nurse's desire to bring beauty into the world manifests in her drive to make the world a better place one patient at a time. She wants to create a calm, safe environment in which her patients can heal. If she can't create this environment because there is tension or conflict, she becomes extremely distressed, even if it is totally out of her control. She is on a quest to generate the things that she knows are vital for the restoration of health, and feels like a failure if she can't create them.
Generally speaking, many nurses are struggling with such feelings as evidenced by the large number of nurses leaving the profession. The therapeutic environment is not satisfactory to them, and often their lives are not uncomplicated at home. Consequently, in many cases, their ability to keep giving without being appreciated is ultimately suffocated.
The major problem we face in nursing is that we need to heal our hearts, but we are often so externally focused that we don't know the anguish inside them. It is so easy for a nurse to see the needs of others, and it pains nurses not to fulfill them. The nurse has dedicated her whole life to this end. She feels that gratifying people's needs is her duty. She can't let people suffer if there is something that can be done, and she can do it. She is surrounded by needs both at home and at work. This eventually will deplete her reserves, and she will continue to give until she is giving from her fabric, her very essence. At this stage, she is beyond exhaustion and withdraws in an attempt to stop the bleeding of the energy that is needed for her very survival. Something needs to halt this downward spiral to create inner harmony and a feeling of freedom. Knowing that the answers lie within and having a guide to create personal victory is the place to start.
There are valuable steps to the creation of a dream reality. A dream always precedes a goal. When you're ready to make a dream come true, start by setting a goal. A goal is the statement of what you want to achieve. As David Campbell says, "If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else." Research done at Yale on goal setting found that only 3% of people write specific goals. Predictably, these are the most successful people.
I recently went to a recruitment and retention conference that was a great educational experience, but how many people actually implement what is taught at such conferences? We always feel so motivated when we come back from a conference, but then we get back to the real world and quickly get caught in the inertia of the system. To grow and improve takes an internal motivation, and setting goals turns possibilities into actualities. It is nearly impossible to ascertain our goals when we are caught up in everyday concerns. Creating a plan is something that must be given time and space.
The process of actually completing our goals is even more demanding, and yet it can be done if the right actions are planned and pursued. The first stride to healing our profession is healing individually. We begin by asking ourselves what we want. This is the blueprint for our quest.
You may have heard of the term SMART goal. A goal that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-specific is the kind of goal that is most likely to be realized. We make a goal measurable by giving it substance. "I want to earn more money" does not have the substance that "I want to earn $45,000 per year" has. Next, ask yourself if it is reasonable to think you can attain your goal. If you were setting the aforementioned goal and planning to go into preschool education, it may not be realistic. You must also determine if the goal is relevant or meaningful to you. If you really don't care how much you earn and love taking care of preschoolers, you won't be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve this goal. Time specificity is the last issue to address in identifying the parameters for your goal. If you want to earn $45,000 within five years and want to be a nurse, it gives you the time you need to investigate and go to school. Your SMART goal becomes "I want to earn $45,000 per year as a nurse by January of 2010."
Next, look at your options and ask yourself what you would do if you knew you couldn't fail. Let yourself list every possibility at this point. Then determine what you are willing to do to achieve your goal. Planning for the known obstacles will allow you to build solutions. Next, look at the personal benefits of achieving your dream. Remember that "WIIFM" is always in effect. That is, "What's In It For Me." We don't do anything if we aren't getting something. We can't get excited about something if we can't see the benefit for ourselves. As the final step, think about who will support you, encourage you, and help you hold yourself accountable to the tasks you deem necessary while you work toward your goal.
Wherever you are in your level as a caregiver, and whatever you want to accomplish, look for people that will be your supporters or mentors. Think about the qualities you're looking for. Look for someone of the same sex that is willing to develop a deep relationship. It isn't good to develop this kind of close relationship with people of the opposite sex other than a spouse or prospective spouse because it can be misleading. Some people are only interested in what is advantageous for them. Such people would not be good choices. You want to find a nonjudgmental person to help you hold yourself accountable to your "to do" list. Don't be open with people who are willing to point out the splinter in your eye when they have logs in their own. Some people aren't careful about trampling on things that are important to you. Take the time to know what you want, and then find a person that can help you while you work at getting it. Know your values, and don't ask for support from people who have values that are different from yours.
Doris Young is a coach and works with nurses to make their dreams come true. Contact her at Doris@DorisYoungAssociates.com or call her at 800 673-8005.
