Your power comes from clarity. When you are totally clear about what you want and you don't harbor old resentments, you will feel your authentic power. When you are cleared of all of the blocks you're carrying from unhealed childhood issues, past unfulfilled relationships, and any inabilities to have and get what you want, you can experience your own power.
All these past hurts will continue to block your ability to fully experience yourself and your source of energy until you clear them permanently. The solution is simple yet difficult to achieve unless you take full responsibility for what is happening in your life right now. The major issue people have is trying to control the things they cannot change. As the serenity prayer says: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." When you focus on changing other people, you will never solve your problems with them.
I talk with nurses who get critical about being called critical. "How does that work?" you may say. Well, the initial statement a person makes may not actually be a critical statement and yet because of the other person's unhealed issues, they see it as critical. The receiver accuses the sender of being critical and rather than saying, "I'm sorry that hurt you, I was not trying to be critical. What I meant was…" the sender instead responds by saying, "You're always trying to make me the bad guy. I think you are the critical one." You can see how the two would be off to the races with the second statement when the sender had another option to just clarify what he or she meant. You always have options, and once the underlying issues of feeling criticized unjustly in previous relationships are healed, things can go differently. Past hurts are the issue you have control over, not how people react to what you say.
To begin to make a shift in how you react to the world, start by noticing what kind of people you seem to have around you. Do you have aggressive people who are accusing you of being aggressive? They are projecting their issues on you. If you are arguing with them about who is the aggressive one, you are engaged in the debate because of your issue with being blamed unjustly. When you get to the real issues of feeling responsible for other people's feelings and healing them, you can handle someone making an accusation without feeling attacked.
Yes, they are yelling at you, but the feeling of being attacked is your issue. You have an opportunity to identify when you felt powerless at a young age when you were unable to protect yourself. Safety comes from inside once we heal. We don't need a protective shield when we have confidence in our ability to create a safe space for ourselves no matter what the other person says or does.
About the Author
Coaching helps people connect with their authentic power and is an invaluable asset to any organization. To get more information about transformational leadership coaching contact Doris Young at 800.673.8005 or at Doris@DorisYoungAssociates.com.
